Toddler Lessons

My goal was to come up with 5 things I've learned while parenting a toddler.  While I walked around getting the girls ready this morning I just kept adding to my list more and more things I've learned.  Some may be able to commiserate with me......

Lessons Learned while Parenting a Todder

1. There is a button on your butt, that when you sit down it alerts your child that they need something.
2. We spend the first part of our child's life getting them to walk and talk, then the 2nd part of life telling them to sit down and shut up. (I actually heard this one somewhere....)
3. On picture day they will inevitably get their face marred in some way.
4. If you have a busy day planned, your toddler will refuse to take a nap and cry the whole day.
5. If you ever decide to have more kids, then your toddler will suddenly decide to start waking up in the middle of the night.....and sleep in your bed.....
6. Just when your child falls asleep for naptime, the garbage man will come.
7. Why can't toddlers learn to put their clothes ON, before they learn to take them OFF?
8. Why do kids hate greenbeans, but will eat dirt in an instant?
9. Kids never pat their heads unless eating spagetti.
10. Forget toys, electrical outlets are much more fun.
11. Children will play happily by themselves unless you have to use the restroom.
12. Your childs favorite stuffed animal will soon become the dogs favorite as well.
13. No matter how hard you try to hide, if you sneak a piece of candy they will find you and demand a piece as well.
14. Jetta is never in the right, and Emily Elizabeth is not 30 (despite the way she talks.)
15. Whoever did the research on breastfeeding and not drinking coffee is in the insane asylum somewhere.
16. Elmo......what can I say.....God bless Elmo.  If only I could have thought of it first.
17. 2 year olds never tire of peanut butter sandwiches, though mommy doesn't care if she never saw it again.
18. Mommy-ism is a second language: potty, boo-boo, tee-tee, etc....
19. You always run out of diapers on the coldest, rainiest day of the year.
20. All you have to do is stock up on bannanas for your child to decide she doesn't like them anymore.
21. The higher you place things, the more dangerous the antics become to reach them.
22. If you see your child running around naked, look first for the dog.  He will always find the diaper before you do.
23. I am the human hanky. Maddie even wipes her dolls nose on my shirt.
24. Bragging about your child will only force them to forget how to do whatever said accomplishment.
25. As soon as you get them dressed in 50 layers to go outside, the sun will suddenly come out and the weather will warm to 80 degrees. (This may only apply to crazy Texas weather.)
26. No matter how often you change the diaper pail, spray it with flower scented, anti-bacterial, anti-odorous, spice and fruit infused air freshener.......it will still stink.
27. The dog will always be faster at picking up after your toddler than you are......especially if it's her toothbrush.

Anyone have any more lessons to add?